Have you ever met a man or woman whose number one goal is to make you love them?

Some of you may remember a popular sitcom from the ’80s called “Family Matters.” Steve Urkel, a young, clingy, and attention-hungry neighbor of the Winslow family, had a great love for Jones for Carl and Harriet Winslow’s daughter, Laura. Every day, Steve would come over to his house and try to get Laura to be his girl. The problem with these attempts is that Laura showed absolutely no personal interest in Steve. To her, he was a nerdy, awkward nuisance. When Laura gave Steve any kind of attention, negative or positive, Steve would wait until he was alone and say out loud, “I’m wearing you out, honey!” It was hilarious!

Unfortunately, this is a scenario that happens in real life, and unfortunately it can be mentally and emotionally draining. Maybe you know someone who has Steve Urkel Syndrome. Maybe you have it and don’t know it. If you don’t know the signs and symptoms of this disease and think you or someone you know may have it; Here are some things to look for.

1) Excessive and unannounced visits to the home, work or events of a future husband or wife (delusions)

2) Call, text, email the love of your life morning, noon, and night (and everything in between)

3) Uncontrollable crying or laughing at sarcasm or rejection by a loved one

4) Spending money you don’t have on gifts a loved one didn’t ask for (but will accept)

5) Act interested in things that have no interest

6) Ask a loved one questions and answer them before they do

7) Call the mother, father or siblings of a loved one for emotional support

8) Give up hope and plan a date with a loved one at the same time

These are just some of the classic symptoms of Steve Urkel syndrome. If you or someone you know is experiencing three or more of the symptoms listed and you don’t know where to turn for help; CALL YOUR CHOSEN LOVER IMMEDIATELY! (Trust me, they will tell you where to go!)

Steve Urkel Syndrome

On a more serious level, there are people who impose their delicate and emotional state of mind on others. It’s not uncommon for love-starved people to crave acceptance and support from people they know and trust. But, there are times when you or someone you know crosses the limits of comfortability, and that’s when a reality check is necessary.

I speak from experience. I have been on the receiving end of a man who said he “loved” me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. This would have been music to my ears if the feeling had been mutual! Do not misunderstand. There were times when the two of us talked for hours and spent a few nights on the town. That was the beauty of having a friend to hang out with. OKAY! I admitted that I was never physically attracted to this man. It was kind of like an accident that we put in the first place. After listening to my routine announcement; “I don’t want to be in a committed relationship right now” my lovesick friend became more persistent. Speaking of “friend”, no one wants to be put in the friend zone! Initially, I blamed myself for spending even five minutes with this man. But, one day I realized! I hadn’t arranged to meet him anywhere. He was already where I was. I didn’t have the luxury of lying to him about where he was going to be (or not be). Wherever he was, there he was. Lingerie. cheese Ready for me! I couldn’t tiptoe into a room without him seeing me. He couldn’t whisper low enough. He would listen to me. I couldn’t get off work fast enough. He would find me. I finally stopped and yelled at him, “Enough!” Needless to say, that didn’t work. He backed away for a week or two, and then returned to Fantasy Island.

Is this behavior called “bullying”? Maybe, but what’s worse than bullying is allowing someone to impose on you. Singing group Destiny’s Child performed the hit song “Bug-a-boo.” I kept that song on repeat mode years ago. I couldn’t get enough! I had no sympathy for the children of destiny until I met my very own Bug-a-Boo.

Unfortunately, it’s not enough to take a direct approach with someone who has already decided you’re “the one.” You can go to great lengths to try and shut down a wounded soldier, but anything short of seriously injuring them would do the trick. There is also no guarantee of bodily harm.

I wish I had an easy solution for the Steve Urkel types or the people who ride the emotional roller coaster with them. I have to emphasize the importance of self-love and respect. It is much easier for you to treat people well if you treat yourself well. High self-esteem should be taught at home when we are young; but that is not always realistic to expect. There is hope!