Finding Calm.

“Meditate Schmeditate,” my mother-in-law, Dora, once said to her son, my husband, Mark, as he was driving to Long Beach one summer day to find a quiet bench on the boardwalk for his meditation practice two times a day. From that day on, every time Mark sat down to meditate he would say to me, “I’m going to go meditate-meditate” and we both laughed about it.

Twenty minutes a day, twice a day for over thirty years. Rarely did Mark stop taking time to do his meditation practice. When he was an educator in the New York City Public Schools, he would get up 45 minutes early to meditate, then shower, shave, get dressed, make his coffee and peanut butter sandwich (to get the energy he needed in his stressful life -very hectic-). he worked as the school principal) and then pack an apple, some clementines and some almonds. He would then get in his car to drive to East New York, Brooklyn. In my eyes, Mark was a true enlightened warrior.

Mark trained in TM in Manhattan in the early 1970s. Once, when I asked him what meditation was to him, he said something like this: “It helps me focus. Meditation rests my mind. It helps me ease the stress. It helps me find solutions to problems. I get more done.” .”

I often noticed that he seemed happier and more relaxed when he completed his daily meditations. I admire how he stood his ground day after day.

When I asked him if meditating meant that he turned off his thoughts, he said, “No, on the contrary, what it does is that I just notice my thoughts and let them go while concentrating on a mantra.” keep your mind from wandering by making lists and thinking about the busyness of the next day.

Meditation has become a buzzword. In a recent interview on 92nd Street Y, Ariana Huffington discussed the many CEOs who meditate, including the most famous, the late Steve Jobs.

Studies using MRIs have shown that the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks who meditate daily and for long periods of time have shown brains with increased gamma wave activity, which help with many cognitive functions, including increased compassion, better memory and test-taking skills. In short, gamma brain waves are what get you “in the zone.”

There are also health benefits. Science has shown that meditation can reduce stress, helps reduce cortisol, adrenaline production, and in turn lowers blood pressure.

In a recent article in the New York Times, The way The meditation center in Manhattan focuses on networking for fashion and tech millennials through meditation. According to the article, many post-meditation deals have been made and jobs have been found. In Los Angeles, “Drybar”-style meditation centers are springing up.

If you ask me, meeting your true love or business partner through meditation holds more promise than having a cocktail at the latest trendy bar. At least you know the person is in the moment.

In addition, meditation has been shown in another article to have the potential to help students increase their scores on important tests, such as the SAT and ACT.

Seems like Mark really was onto something all those years ago. Meditation served him well throughout his life, working through some very sticky situations in the school system and when he was losing his battle with cancer, meditation helped him stay focused and not complain even when he knew he just wanted to scream.

It was thanks to Mark that I began my thirty year journey into yoga and meditation. As someone with high energy, active, and a need to move, I found that to meditate I had to do a little yoga or dance in the living room, walk, or just sit around in circles to warm up and release excess energy. energy. Then I could sit and enjoy the stillness. I am grateful to Mark for starting me on my yogic path. He used to say, “I have great instincts. I grew up on the streets of Brooklyn which taught me a lot about people.” And I appreciate that he shared it with me.

Being a people person, my favorite way to meditate is in a group with my fellow yoga practitioners; that’s where the practice really unfolds for me.

But being home on my own becomes something else. To do the practice is to commit to grace for a few minutes each day. Even for just 5 minutes to give my busy monkey mind a rest. Productivity increases when I give my mind and body a break.

For those who want to give meditation a whirl, there are plenty of places to look. There are many different types of meditations to try on YouTube.com, where you can practice in your living room.

Do your best not to judge yourself. According to American Buddhist teacher and meditation teacher Jack Kornfeld, it takes many lifetimes to master meditation, so why not just enjoy it? There is no correct way to do it. Just sit back and it will unfold.

The UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center is a good place to get free training and introduction to meditation, marc.ucla.edu and look for the link to Free Guided Meditations. Or search iTunes for both free and paid meditations.

There are also numerous apps available to help you learn.

Although when I think about it, the whole concept is a bit of an oxymoron. Meditation app. Sort of like the old “giant shrimp”. The idea is to lower the noise in your head. If you can do that without checking text messages, put your phone in do not disturb mode, here are some apps to try, some are free and some charge a fee:

Breathe2Relax helps you practice working with your breath,

Buddhify 2 meditations and information from short to long,

Omvana has music, talks, guided meditations, and much more. Search your app store to see what’s available. Read the reviews. Try a few different types of meditation.

I have had great success staying consistent with the yoga nidra meditations I hear on YouTube.com Google: yoga nidra and many variations will appear

Yoganidra has been one of the building blocks in getting me back on my feet after losing my loving husband Mark to cancer. The grievance can be overwhelming. Yoga nidra let me be fine.

Of one thing I am sure, meditation is not rare or complicated. It can be as simple as finding a quiet place, closing your eyes, and telling your mind to follow your breath. I tell myself, “breathe in, breathe out” until I don’t need to say it, I just go along.

My best suggestion is to find a meditation center or yoga studio where meditation practice is offered.

Some, like Yoga Nanda in Garden City, NY, offer free community meditation each week.

Or just find your quiet place by simply doing what Mark always did: put on a comfortable hoodie and sit wherever you are.

Follow your breath and give your mind a rest.

Watch your thoughts as they pass by and let them go.

Keep following the breath for 5 minutes or more. Make an appointment with your peaceful self.

Go find your quiet place, I bet you’ll be glad you did.