As you can tell from the title, I learn some important lessons in the gym. And yes, I learned that eating chili before taking a step class will take your training to a whole new level. But today I learned something even more important.

I’m on the stair climber, surviving with Aretha, making a move, shaking my groove, and I’m going at a pretty good groove, feeling pumped up like Jennifer Beal in the chair in Flashdance. And I’m right at the part where they’re about to throw a bucket of water at me as I jump off the back of my chair, when the one that’s his face falls onto the stairs next to me.

I am not one of those who exercises in total oblivion of those around me. No, I’m nosy. I have this need to know what they’re doing, how they’re doing it, and more importantly, if they’re doing it better than me. And Kelly Competitive rears its ugly head. The same Kelly Competitive who decided in the ’80s that she could make her hair bigger than everyone else’s, and we’ve got photos to prove it.

So I start sneaking glances at his face next to me, assessing his level of skill and speed, as the secret urge to be faster kicks in. Wouldn’t you know? The guy next to me must have been training for something, because he becomes a Road Runner and I’m frantically trying to match him step by step, without seeming like I’m matching him step by step. And of course that’s not good enough for me, I’m determined to run faster, even if my thighs are clapping like a praise service at my Aunt Esther’s tent revival.

Why? Because that’s just what I do.

And it’s an all-out war between us as we embark on an imaginary race that I’m not even sure he even knows he’s in. And my legs are pumping and I’m pretty sure I had a number of little bumps but I just kept going with it until it stopped and yeah I crossed the finish line first thank you very much. And he jumped up and ran to the weight machines, while I went to find a paramedic. And between heart compressions I realized something very important about that whole experience: my ability to run faster is often a direct result of those I choose to run with.

If I’m next to someone who’s just pacing and going through the motions, then I’m just going to be motivated to work fast enough to beat them. But if I’m next to someone who’s kicking butt, then I’ll try even harder to beat them.

I see this game in my own business. When I hang out with people who are doing enough, I start to slip into a comfort zone. But when I set my sights on people three laps ahead of me, well, a fire starts to burn in my gut and my feet start pumping, and I’m determined to set a new record.

And you? Have you chosen your teammates wisely? Are you surrounded by people who encourage you to be good enough or are you surrounded by people who encourage you to break a new record? Or, God bless your heart, did you just realize you’re the only one in the race? The choice is yours. The race has already started. They won’t stop and drag you down. You have to jump and start running.

So if you ever get tired of surrounding yourself with people who aren’t serious about working out, come up on the ladder next to me. I promise I won’t eat chili first, and I promise I’ll leave you behind. So go ahead.