A grandfather, whose grandson approached him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said:

“I too, at times, have felt a great hatred for those who have taken so much, without pity for what they do. But hate wears you down and doesn’t harm your enemy. It’s like taking poison and wishing your enemy would. To die.

“I have struggled with these feelings many times,” he continued. “It is as if there are two wolves inside me: one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with everything around him and does not take offense when he did not mean to offend. He will fight only when he is right.” well and in the right way. But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The smallest thing puts him in a bad mood. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He can’t think because his anger and hatred are so great… It’s hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because they both try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy stared into his grandfather’s eyes and asked.

“Which one wins?”

Grandpa replied solemnly.

“The one I feed.”

anger is human

Anger is a natural emotion that in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It is what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

We can feed it and make it worse, or we can work with it and handle it in a way that makes healthy sense. It is always a choice. .

How to feed anger

Play the blame game.

Finding, placing, and dramatizing blame is one of the biggest sources of creating and fueling anger. Guilt talks like this

“It’s someone else’s fault. He shouldn’t have done it, and I must make him pay for it.”

One of the many downsides to this is that the blame game takes a lot of time and energy, leaving you with little for the rest of your life.

Play the power up game.

Once you’re angry, you have two options: turn your anger off or turn it on. The danger of turning on your anger is that it quickly becomes a habit and you forget it’s a choice.

Getting fired up requires fueling the anger by going over the injustice over and over in your mind. Another way to do this is to tell as many people as you can how you feel until you have several people on your side. They become ignition assistants.

Blame and turn on worked dangerously well. The more you blame, the more you get inflamed. The more you inflame, the more guilty you find.

How to feed healthy feelings

Play the streaming game.

Pausing to ask yourself a few questions helps reduce anger. For example: How much do I enjoy this feeling? How strong do I want to feel this anger? How long do I want to feel it?

Anger can prevent us from thinking. Pausing long enough to answer these questions allows you to re-engage your brain and decide how you want to manage your anger.

Accept that not everything in life can or needs to be corrected.

Many times when we try to fix things, we mess them up much more. Sometimes we just have to let go and move on. Treat it like the dust it is, shake it off your shoes and walk into the rest of your life.