Men also suffer from postpartum blues

Society tells us that a new baby should be one of life’s happiest experiences. Well, for many new parents it can be quite the opposite.

Who is affected?

Postpartum depression is a disabling psychological illness. It affects more than 15 percent of new mothers and 10 percent of new fathers. Many parents simply don’t tell anyone that they aren’t coping with their new role as parents. It is common to experience very painful emotions after the birth of a new baby, and men in particular do not ask for help. How many men visit a doctor when they need it, let alone seek help when they’re emotionally struggling or experiencing the baby blues?

Having a new baby brings massive changes to your life and there are many “fairy tale” expectations of the world around us that are impossible to meet. Men are often unprepared for the new stresses a young family can bring: suddenly having to juggle work, added financial pressures, and trying to support their partner who is going through their own life change.

How do men feel?

Add to that a loss of freedom, lack of sleep, probably less sex, let alone the huge identity shift that comes with being a new parent. All of this can lead to resentment toward your baby, her partner, and everyone around you who is still living the life they used to.

Postpartum depression in men, or baby blues, can bring with it mood swings, drug or alcohol use, anger, anxiety attacks, withdrawal from loved ones, and a general feeling of unhappiness. Many men then try to ignore the negative feelings they are experiencing and struggle without seeking support.

It’s okay not to love being a new dad

Left untreated, postpartum depression can be devastating for the entire family. Men need to know that it’s okay to have negative feelings about their new role as fathers and to seek help is the right thing to do.

Postpartum depression in men is treated with therapy or counseling, and sometimes with antidepressants as well. Joining a support group for new fathers is also a good way to understand that you are not alone and that there are many other men who share the same experience.