Most of us have lost touch with what it means to play hard to get and the art of getting sucked in. We have literally interpreted the game “catch me” to mean that the predator chases the prey and destroys it. Somehow we have managed it in such a way that there must be great suffering and even blood wasted (heartbreaks) for anything meaningful to happen.

However, when you look at the courtship behavior of wild animals in their natural habitats, which is where our ancestors discovered this courtship ritual and perfected it for their own use, the dance of the hunter and the hunted is a sophisticated and genuinely delicious. with lots of fun. It’s exciting, exhilarating, exciting and impressive in every sense of the word.

Unfortunately for us, somewhere along the line of “chasing” (a growing trend to stay “cool” in the dating ritual) it turned into playing hide-and-seek with someone who doesn’t want to get caught, tricking the person into taking just bullshit. for reality, or playing on people’s emotions because it makes the person doing it feel wanted.

My understanding of the “thrill of the chase” that builds up in the “art of “arranging to get caught” is simply a modern take on the art of “wooing.” Where the art of “wooing” is still alive and well, it is considered a step above the art of seduction in the delicate dance of courtship.

This is when two people are trying to get a better idea of ​​each other. They have both already established that there is some degree of attraction/chemistry and an interest in exploring things further. Both the man and the woman are aware that the other has other women or other men to choose from and each tries to win the affection of the other. It is similar to courtship behavior in the wild, where the male and female show their best moves to get their potential sexual partner to mate with them. Both parties bring the same amount of interest and effort: no one expects it to last forever, and no one feels cheated or used.

Both individuals also really enjoy keeping the adrenaline flowing and things fun and interesting. This is where the “thrill of the chase” comes in.

The persecutor proposes and makes the persecuted feel affection and desire. He or she creates incidents, events, and experiences that cause the person he or she is chasing to dream of him or her, miss him or her, and long for him or her when he or she is not around. Their goal is to make the persecuted person feel that something important is happening and he or she (the persecutor) is the reason.

The hunted person, on the other hand, maintains a certain degree of mystery, unknowability, and “out of reach.” He or she creates incidents, events, and experiences (smile in your voice when the pursuer calls, smile in your eyes when you are together, genuine interest in your life, etc.) that clearly suggests to the pursuer that success is possible, but some effort must be made to achieve that success. The pursuer’s efforts are rewarded with more positive signals and more challenges for him or her to step up and be more of himself and do more than he has dared to do before.

The “chase” inspires both parties not to become complacent or take the other for granted. The “chase” also gives both parties the opportunity to find out what really motivates the other party and what she is capable of as a potential long-term partner. As two people become more focused on each other, the attraction intensifies and interest in other men and women gradually fades away, for different reasons.

The mistake many men and women make when pursuing the opposite sex is wasting time trying to turn the other person’s no’s into yes’s by saying this and lying about that, doing this and forcing that to happen. They mistakenly believe that with the right amount of hard work and persistence they can get the other person to change their mind. They are so focused on breaking down resistance that they fail to build bridges of genuine affection, desire, and longing. Quite often they find themselves chasing someone who has long since lost interest in the chase. All they are left with is persistence that sometimes degenerates into manipulation or begging, or both!

Persecuted men and women, on the other hand, make the mistake of confusing mystery with vagueness (hiding their true feelings), unfamiliarity with uncertainty (giving mixed signals), and “out of reach” with the inaccessible (not being available or running too far). forward). This hiding of feelings, sending mixed messages, and not being available only serves to confuse and frustrate the persecutor. Most people who do this turn around to find that the only thing chasing them is their own shadows.

A man or woman who is not afraid to play the game “Catch Me” and knows how to get caught is a rare breed in this day and time. Learning this fine art will definitely give you an edge that will put you ahead of the pack, making you a more attractive chase.

I’ve written many articles about this delicious way to play hard to get while making sure you’re being chased and that the chase actually leads to something positive and promising. If you’d like to read these articles, go to my Date Doctor website, articles section, and click on the Playing-Hard-To-Get category). It is easier than you think!