There’s a Janet Jackson song, with

Q-Tip and Joni Mitchell, entitled “Got ’till it’s gone”. The choir says:

“Don’t you always seem to go

That you don’t know what you have until it’s gone?

It’s a song about a lady who regrets that she didn’t appreciate her man until he left. But as she listened to it, I got to thinking how the message is so applicable to so many of the everyday problems we encounter in life.

Life in the 21st century has taken on a frenetic pace and it almost seems like things are speeding up in such a way that the days are getting shorter but there is more to do. Everything seems to be in fast forward, including our lives and thoughts.

There is little time to live in the moment, little time to stop and “smell the air.” There is little time to appreciate what you have and where you are in life. Until it’s gone.

I mean, when you’re young you’re in a hurry to grow up and become an adult. When you’re in high school you can’t wait to finish and get to college. You will be happy when you are there because you will have your freedom and you will do all the things that you really want to do but can’t right now.

When you are in college or university you cannot wait to finish and get your first job. After all, when you have more money and a grade, you will definitely be happier and happier. You can live the life you want without worrying about money. When you finally get that first job, you can’t wait to get promoted or get a better job. Surely a little more money would be the answer to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Somewhere along the way you may get married, after all you are so sick of being single. So you are in a hurry to have children. When the kids arrive, you can’t wait for them to grow up. As they grow, you can’t wait for them to be old enough to live on their own. Then you can have the whole house to yourself and hopefully more time to do the things you really want to do…and be happier.

Meanwhile, your time is running out. But you keep thinking that life will get better when this or that happens. It’s like you’re always chasing the end of the rainbow and trying to find that elusive pot of gold.

Then one day, looking back, you realize something amazing, but also very sad. You realize that your high school days were some of the best days you could have had, with no responsibilities to speak of and all your needs met. All you had to do was study and do well in school. You should have enjoyed it more.

College or university was great too. Or at least it should have been. It was a great experience growing up, meeting new people and trying new things. You had some real freedom back then. But you didn’t really enjoy it because you didn’t know. You were too busy waiting to finish your studies and get a job. You realize you didn’t use your opportunities very well back then. You could have had more fun, made a few more friends, and tried a few more challenging things. You should have appreciated your single days more.

The children, oh, they were a pleasure to have at home. They brought so much life and warmth to the place even though they could be a pain at times. Now it’s so quiet and empty. You wish they could come more often. But they’re also too busy chasing that pot of gold. They don’t realize that you won’t be here forever. They will, when you are no longer there. Then they will think about how they should have made more of the time they had with you.

“Doesn’t it always seem like you don’t know what you have until it’s gone?” Such is life for many of us. But that has to stop. You have to stop that clock that is getting out of control. Take a step back in your life and think.

Think about how good it is to be alive today, here and now. Think of all the things you have in your life that you should be grateful for and appreciate more of. Yes, you have challenges, but so does everyone else. Even Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, has his challenges. They are just dressed differently. Money will not relieve you of stress or make you happy.

Stop trying to change everything. If you wait for everything to be perfect before you can be happy, you are in for a big disappointment. Acknowledge the flaws in your work, but celebrate and enjoy the good things about it. Acknowledge the flaws in your husband or wife, but appreciate and rejoice in the good things about them. They will never be perfect. If you wait for them to be perfect before you can be happy, a sad life awaits you.

In Ecclesiastes, which is probably one of the most daunting books in the Bible at first glance, the opening statement regarding life is “all is vanity.” But several times the Preacher who wrote it says: “Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man rejoices in his own works, because that is his portion: for who will take him to see what will be after him?” Now that is wisdom and the preacher also says that “every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his work, it is a gift of God.”

You cannot know what will come in the future. Yes, you will make your plans and be diligent, but not everything is under your control. You can only do that. So enjoy what you have today, even as you plan for the future. The present is the only time you have under your control. The past is gone. Cherish your memories and learn from your mistakes. The future is uncertain and you will never see it. You will only see now.

The greatest happiness you will ever have is yours today. You just have to decide that it is. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“…man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but instead regrets the past with an inverted gaze, or, unconcerned about the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until that he also lives with nature in the present, above time”.

Live in the present. Don’t wait until it’s gone before you appreciate what you have.