Now when we say ‘misunderstood lyrics’ we’re not talking:’ was Don McClean referring to Buddy Holly or the Cold War in ‘American Pie’, and couldn’t he have done so in less than 924 verses?

Not.

We’re saying, ‘I’ve been singing’ forgive me while I kiss this guy ‘like Jimi Hendrix did!’ (And it’s ‘excuse me while I kiss the sky’, for you newly enlightened Hendrix fans.)

So here’s a list of some of the most misunderstood (and funniest) lyrics in pop music:

10) ‘Carry a laser down the road I must travel …’ That’s right, Mr. Mister’s smash hit ‘Kyrie’ from the ’80s is on the list, and you wouldn’t believe how many people misunderstood the chorus (which it’s actually “Kyrie Elesion the way I must travel”; a reference to the lyricist, John Lang’s religious upbringing).

9) ‘Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a woman, that was until he looked down.’ From the seminal ‘Get Back’ by the Beatles. It’s not as fun as ‘Tarzan running away from a Jedi Knight’ in ‘Blackbird’, but pretty good!

8) ‘There is a bathroom on the right.’ Fogerty singing ‘Bad Moon Rising’ for Creedance could be in many ways, but this is one of the most misunderstood lyrics of all time. So much so, that you might as well change the name of the song (and send me the royalties).

7) ‘I’ll never piss … your pizza’s on fire’ Mick Jagger must have a zillion trailing lines and misunderstood lyrics anyway, but this Stones classic gets even more classic with this reinterpretation.

6) ‘I feel two pigs, in containers!’ And in keeping with Jagger tradition, Kurt Cobain apparently cut off many of their vocals with a retainer and several radishes in his mouth (which is why ‘Come As You Are’ is a complete SONG that you could misinterpret if you wanted … ‘I’ I’m a night owl! I’m a night owl! ‘)

5) ‘Warm smell of mojitas, rising through the air …’ First of all, it’s ‘mojiTOES’, and they are always served cold! And if anyone knew about drinks served cold, it would be Joe Walsh and The Eagles hanging out at the ‘Hotel California’.

4) ‘When I hear that old song, I was wearing a toupee … I see my butt drift away …’ Okay, I’m a big Boston fan, and this classic ‘More Than a Feeling’ mistake had to go away . on the list (and by the way, it’s a ‘song they used to play’ with ‘Mary Anne’ walking away, by the way).

3) ‘Give me two! Give me five! Give me fifty-five dollars! Metallica has its share of high-octane lyrics that make you think, ‘What just yelled at?’ But this ‘Fuel’ intro falls short of the best.

2) ‘Hey baby! Ooo baby! Beautiful lady! I want to have your boobies now! Seriously, I challenge you to tell me that Robert Plant is singing something different than this on Led Zeppelin’s hard rock classic ‘Black Dog’. Don’t even get me started on ‘Stairway to Heaven’.

1) ‘Beat it! Beat it! Nobody wants to feel your penis! Show them your monkey! Show them your mice! It doesn’t matter if the poop is okay! Just beat it! ‘What better tribute to the king of pop than this fabulous oversight of one of his greatest hits? And frankly, if there were references to Jesus Juice and taking baths with kids, you’d probably think that’s pretty legitimate lyrics. But this incredible string of letters quite difficult to argue in MJ’s classic comes to the top!

Yes, we could go the easy way with ‘poke your face’ for Lady Gaga or ‘fill my cup, muffin top’ with Black Eyed Peas, but we’re going for some serious quality in our misunderstood lyrics here. And with that said, going back to my mp3 player and Rush’s ‘Fly By Night’ … ‘It’s time I was interested now, and I just want my bong!’