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How to stay calm in the midst of chaos

As we go through life, the people who are part of our inner circle become serious enemies. Some ‘friends’ who are certainly not the real deal end up ripping us apart. Before we are ready to handle their negativity, gossip and meanness hit us in the face; this can be difficult to overcome. Dealing with this brand of people is a mystery. Here are my two things to help you get ahead without letting negative forces dominate your path and destroy your inner peace.

Identify suspects causing disharmony

This can be a catch 22 problem. Having a clue but no amount of testing can throw you off your game. You may feel small, wondering why you are the target. Instead of dismissing the problem or wallowing in the dark, it is necessary to discover the rebellious element. You can confront the person head-on, which is the best method. In all likelihood, the person(s) will become defensive and the problem may blow up in another direction. However, stay the course. Once you have identified the person(s), keep them out of your circle. Another very simple way is to maintain a civility that will irritate the person or people. The last option might sound cruel, especially when you’re hurt. But once you can determine who created the mess, plan your next move.

choir of voices

Most nasty people master the art of pushing your buttons and you end up falling for their trap. One person or chorus of voices who are the cause of dissent have their agenda. The idea is to retain false glory for fifteen minutes of fame. This is where dexterity and promptness come into play: don’t strike the same tone and respond with poisonous vitriol. Opposing points of view are welcome. Having a healthy dialogue is the mature way to go. But in all likelihood, the negative voices will never accept this as they want to dissent. When and if the dialogue gets too nasty, the vile language in the cards, deal with the chaos delicately but firmly. People will stay or go, that’s a choice. You have to decide who makes the cut for you personally and who you need to remove from your inner circle.


Too much thought never did anyone any good. But knowing the reasons behind the anger, negativity, and meanness can help you analyze the situation without letting subjective images come into play. Analytical thinking helps formulate a strategy as you move to the next step. Seek help from trusted people for a brainstorming session, perhaps a family member or someone objective to plan your next move. Chances of working out a compromise may not work out if the opposing side is clogged with animosity and bad blood. Once you’ve looked at the situation without blinders, surround yourself with positivity and free your mind of negativity. This helps in the analytical process.


Being on the receiving end of bitter voices, trolls, nasty messages, gossip, and what have you, will surely make you on your guard where trust becomes an issue. this is natural Everyone feels this way. After a huge backlash, trusting someone makes even the strongest person miserable and sink into depression. Trust yourself and never let misery keep you company. At some point, you have to break down your barriers. Be vigilant and careful. In life, we have our ups and downs. You need to stay the course, stand tall, and work on your trust issues. It’s wise to keep in mind that not everyone is out for blood. Some will be by your side. There may not be many. But in time, with your dedication and kindness, the enemies will change their minds.

forgiveness and love

The Bible teaches us to forgive one another. However, it becomes difficult when there are evil forces trying to bring you down. How do you forgive people who have set traps and tarnished your name? One can be paralyzed by fear, shock, confusion, bitterness. Being able to live your best life can be difficult. But you have to try, giving up is not the solution. When you are ready to forgive someone, you actually become a bigger person. This is a constant refrain, but when you forgive completely and unconditionally, without malice, you are free. The other person(s) will eventually be stunned and try to claw their way back to her goodwill. Forgiveness also means that you don’t hold a grudge. But you should never let your guard down. Love is the way to go. Love yourself and don’t let bad words destroy the life that God has destined for you.

In sum

Chaos hits us when we least expect it, and when it does we stay to pick up the rubble. The problem is that negativity has (more or less) become the new positive. When you deal with a subject maturely, it improves your personal happiness and nothing and no one can burst your bubble.

I have been fighting negativity for decades. Of course, people in the public eye are up against much more. To move forward, surround yourself with people who love and respect you and with God on your side, nothing will or should separate you from the life you have to live.

Haters gonna hate anyway. Stay on the course of love and don’t fall into the trap of negativity.

Here are some steps to keep calm in the midst of chaos and hate.

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