Critics can sometimes be ruthless in casting an unfavorable judgment on a person’s qualities, character, or work. They are often insensitive to the demoralizing effects of their words on the criticized person. When Aristotle first used the word ‘criticism’, he meant that it was a standard of judgment and not a fault-finding exercise.

Criticism can be constructive or destructive. The goal of constructive criticism is to see a change for the better in the criticized person. The reasons will be clearly indicated and suggestions will be offered to correct the problem. Often times, a friend or family member is asked to give an honest critique of a person’s appearance or behavior. In such cases, one must be willing to accept the other person’s opinion, in the right spirit. The absence of criticism may not always be a sign of friendship. It could simply be a lack of concern for the other person.

When someone criticizes another person but cannot identify what is really wrong, this can be considered destructive. Here the intention is not to build but to tear down. Criticism can be justified when one has done something wrong or behaved badly. But it is not justified when someone simply picks on another person without rhyme or reason, or out of personal resentment.

How to criticize:

As Frank A. Clarke says, “Criticism like rain should be gentle enough to nurture a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”

• The goal should be to point out a flaw without destroying the person’s self-esteem. The final result should be to generate a change that improves the quality of life.

• The person must have sufficient knowledge about the subject that has been criticized. For example, a cook may not be able to criticize the work of a beautician. In his essay on criticism, Alexander Pope says, “A little learning is a dangerous thing.”

• There must be genuine concern for the other person. Mary Kay Ash has advice from beauticians: “Separate every little criticism between two layers of praise.” A generous critic will bring out the best in the person he criticizes.

Reasons for destructive and unjustifiable criticism:

1. Human nature is such that some people take pleasure in criticizing others. It may be due to jealousy of someone in a better position with regard to beauty, education, wealth, power or influence.

2. Ignorance: The critic may have no idea of ​​the problem or may have their own blind view of it. Many things may not be acceptable to him due to his lack of knowledge. “Fools run where angels fear to tread.” (Alexander Pope)

3. Criticizing someone in the presence of others can be gaining popularity.

4. Political rivals excel at criticizing each other.

5. Certain schemes or practices are criticized because anything new or unknown is feared.

6. Herd Instinct: A person who dares to stand up for his convictions against the rest of the crowd is often criticized and ridiculed.

7. People in leadership positions are sometimes criticized.

8. In a world where values ​​are so biased, a person who defends his principles or his faith is criticized.

How to benefit from criticism:

“Blessed is the man who removes the bricks thrown at him and builds a solid foundation,” says Tom Pryor.

• Have a positive image of yourself. Never let criticism irritate or make you defensive. Learn from it.

• Use discernment in the way you handle criticism. Accept the challenge. Look for the reason why they criticize you. Is it destructive or constructive? Be positive with someone who offers constructive criticism. He can help you overcome your shortcomings.

• Don’t rush to change just because someone has criticized you. Consider their point of view and see if it is beneficial for you. Someone said, “If one person calls you a donkey, ignore it. But if multiple people do, it’s time to introspect and take corrective action.”

• Do not hold resentment against those who genuinely point out your shortcomings. Do an honest assessment of yourself. Hans Selye said that “As much as we thirst for approval, we fear condemnation.”

• Don’t be paralyzed by destructive criticism. Henry Ward Beecher, while making a speech, received a note with the word “fool” written on it. He read it and told the people in the audience: “Most people write letters and forget to sign their name. But this one has signed his name and forgot to write the letter.”

• Criticism promotes personal growth. It should be used as an improvement tool. It forces you to take an honest look at yourself and make changes when necessary. It teaches humility. You can’t always be perfect, and it’s okay to have flaws. Criticism also has emotional benefits. After the initial denial, it helps you see the problem more clearly and develop your problem-solving skills.

As Norman Vincent Peale said: “The problem with most of us is that we would rather ruin ourselves with praise than save ourselves with criticism.”

We must use criticism to our advantage and be grateful that someone cares enough to point out our flaws and make us aware of them.