Last summer I published a story from the Toronto Memory Archive for a Live in Culture project that tells my story of synchronicity and the Eaton Center. Back when I was a 17-year-old (barely legal) mother, a 20-year-old security officer at the famous retail outlet caught my eye, even though we never spoke and I was definitely an admiring shopper of the remote destination. somehow brought him back into my life over a decade later. With the Christmas season approaching, it has made me think of the ghost of the loves of Christmas past. My girlfriend and I were mourning our lost youth when we stumbled upon an episode of DeGrassi: The Next Generation because we were reminded of the original 1986 series when it was current. My point is that we were hooked on the love plots centered around the adult characters of Spike and Snake/Joey and Caitlin who were at DeGrassi Junior High and then DeGrassi High before the series ended in 1992. Never mind the minors! We want to see the adult “Jaitlin” have a happy ending!

There’s something bittersweet about looking at vintage footage of teen “Spake” and “Jaitlin” with their ’80s-style clothing, fresh faces, and teenage mentality. Hard to believe it was half a lifetime now when you calculate the years since. When I realize how modern they once looked and hope there is NOT a revival of the series in another decade with them being grandparents! I watched a rerun of the old series with Joey walking down the hall at DeGrassi High in his bright neon 80s clothes and fedora hat and realized it was 20 years ago and it gave me a sudden midlife crisis. No wonder classmates.com has become a very popular dating site!

What sparked this article? I was reading a few months ago about a study of first love encounters after many years apart. Surprise …. The person who met you a long time ago often recaptures your heart. Scientists say this is due to imprinting, and that first love leaves a template for the rest. Classmates.com relationship expert Dr. Nancy Kalish attests that it’s best to be single and available if you decide to contact your first love. The powerful feelings evoked are due to the fact that love never ended, was on pause, interrupted, and now circumstances allow it to regain its powerful place in the heart. Early love reunions are the emotional equivalent of a Pandora’s box of intense love, like a volcanic eruption after years of feelings frozen in suspended animation. So if this Christmas makes you feel like a lifelong member of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Gang… take a Sentimental Journey where you just might see your first love in all the old familiar places. .. since deep down there was always something there to remind you of them all the time. Classmates.com is a new twist on desire; “Can’t we just be kids together again?”

If you’ve never watched DeGrassi shows past and present, here’s a video of Joey Jeremiah and Caitlin Ryan from a fan that says it all: [http://www.zippyvideos.com/8457611766239996/goodbyemylover/]

Face it: you NEVER get over your first love… So have your family numbers handy or at least the name of a good IP.

By the way…. This is my story from the Toronto Memory Archive: (For months after we said goodbye, I often weirdly wished we’d grown up together, like Joey and Caitlin, or how Craig and Manny’s characters are now on the current show.)

The Toronto Eaton Center was the first place I visited when I was just getting off a plane out west at the age of 16. Although I was warned of the swarm of teenage gangs, my first visit to the tourist attraction was like a kid in a candy store. He wanted to see all the shops in the place. It was the first place I saw that imprinted on me what Toronto was and still is. In fact, it is the fountain in the center of the first floor near the entrance to the Queen Street tube where many coins have been thrown for so many different wishes over the years. Every corner of the Toronto Eaton Center is a stamp of memory. By the way… most of the wishes came true in a strange way.

I worked there at different times in my life, in various locations, and then for a period of two years as a communications adviser to the Ontario government. There is not a store or restaurant that I have not visited. And yes, the closure of Abacus restaurant, Coles bookstore, Glamor Shots, the old internal police station and other businesses that came and went made me feel like an old friend had stuck in my memory. The day Indigo leaves the Eaton Center I will be very sad! How many hours have been spent drinking coffee while reading a good book while people watch from above.
When the Eaton Center was renovated in 2002 and rebranded, it was like a Toronto landmark got a facelift that looked great…but felt like something was missing. The familiar is cozy because it is so familiar.

And about wishes… there were many afternoons as a teenager and college student window shopping after indulging in a Dairy Queen sundae (lose weight by looking at retail eye candy!)… imagining one. of the security ones. officers making their rounds. It was the dimples that caught my eye. I never found out what his hours were, but every few weeks I was at the Eaton Center when he was working. One Lenten afternoon I threw a coin into the fountain that maybe one day I would find out who he was. This admiration from afar lasted for a year or so (maybe longer, but it was so infrequent it’s hard to measure) and then I guess he quit. I forgot until 2004.

Did it come true? The desire to know who that boy was? Yeah, about 13 years later when he was 29…and the boyfriend I always wanted as a teenager managed to steal my heart as an adult. Be careful what you wish for, especially when you toss a coin into the fountain. You can forget the wish, but someone up there can’t. I’m glad they didn’t.

It was a touch of magic that allowed for a real introduction a decade and a change later. The new Harry Potter movie had just been released in theaters. I called someone I knew to see him on a Tuesday. We agreed to see him and meet near the Rainbow Theatre. When I arrived for dinner before the movie, I saw my date at the theater talking to a man. He had invited a friend to join us on the spur of the moment, as had I. Afterwards we went for coffee at the Golden Griddle (now a Korean Bistro) and when I found out that the man worked security, I took a closer look at him. . I realized that it looked familiar, but maybe yes and maybe not. Of course I didn’t “get it” even when he drove us home and we spent 4 hours talking outside my condo afterwards. He told me that he started his professional career at the Eaton Center, but maybe it was late and he hadn’t connected the dots yet. Furthermore, he had forgotten me about the wish of the fountain and his appearance had changed from a skinny teenager to the build of an adult, plus he was not wearing a uniform.

How did I find out that he and the boy I saw from afar as a teenager were the same person? One afternoon when I went to lunch, I suddenly asked to see photos of him as a teenager in his early 20s. The question came out of nowhere. He showed me old albums and then a picture of him at the Eaton Center behind a baseball player. I took a closer look at the image and made the connection. I said something? Not because? I was afraid of sounding silly and he wouldn’t believe me anyway. Did I ever say something? No. Too much pride in the way of admitting fate.

When the security guy and I finally got together, I found out some interesting things: We lived on the same street at the same time 10 years before: MacDonnell Ave, just steps from each other. He patrolled a number of buildings, one belonging to YTV, near Atlantic Ave during the time I worked at 99 Atlantic Ave in the late ’90s. When I lived in the Annex on Palmerston Avenue and then Markham Street, he was in Manning just 3 blocks southwest of both of my houses, around the same time in the early 90’s. When I moved to Yorkville around 2000, he worked at a corporate office just 5 minutes from my condo. And the night we met at St. Lawrence Market… he was switching work locations to another corporate office also just 5 minutes away every time. He said it was fate, but at that point I wouldn’t admit it either.

So how did it end? Well… my best friend Kelly said that she had never seen me so happy until she saw me with him. My friend from college, Michael, said the same thing. But unfortunately… it was like the Blue Rodeo song “Bad Timing”. He had a past that he hadn’t let go….and I had a future that he had to follow. It ended over the long weekend of August 2005 in Ashbridges Bay (where the beach reminded me of San Francisco) and one thing is certain…it was a loving memory of Toronto that I will always remember no matter where I go. The saddest thing was that I didn’t lose just one love in that relationship: I lost two: him and his mini-me who looked like him, with dimples too.

The lesson for all young people (under 30) is: SAY HELLO. Don’t waste 10 years! Don’t be afraid of the security officers at The Eaton Center…after all, they are friendly.