When it comes to what makes one person attracted to another, it can be easy to believe that it is simply due to the effect that the other person’s personality and/or appearance has had on them. These two factors will have had the biggest effect on why someone is sexually attracted to someone else.

One way of looking at this would be to say that these are the only two things that someone is aware of when meeting another person. Sure, there may be how much money they have or how famous they are, for example, that they can play aside, but in general, there will usually only be two things to go by.

a result

If after you are sexually attracted to another person, you end up taking things further with him, there is a chance that this area of ​​your life is going from strength to strength. Then one can look back on when they first met and reflect on how well they are doing in this area of ​​their life.

So one could say that one had the ability to see that this person was right for them, and that is why they were attracted to them. So this is similar to seeing something that is healthy and having a strong urge to eat it.

Different Challenges

Now, this is not to say that you will never argue or experience conflict; what it means is that this will not be something that permeates your relationship. And, even when they do have a disagreement, they can usually work it out in a mature and loving way.

Then there will be no reason for either of you to lose self-control and blame the other. What this can show is that you both have the ability to own your own feelings, rather than making your partner responsible for them.

looking back

This is how this area of ​​your life could be for as long as you can remember; then one will not have been in an abusive relationship before. There is a chance that one may have had a rather enriching childhood.

Alternatively, they may have been in a series of relationships that didn’t go well. What this might illustrate is that one has had to work with a lot of baggage to be able to experience life in this way.

a different result

On the other hand, after going further with someone they are sexually attracted to, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they start to feel completely different. This is not to say that this will take place after a few weeks or even a few months, as it might take a bit longer.

After the so-called ‘honeymoon’ period is over, one might wonder what happened to the person you were with in the beginning. It could be as if this person has been replaced by another.

A big surprise

Consequently, it will be normal for one to feel confused and even victimized by this person. It might seem that their vision of the other person was nothing more than an illusion.

They might come to believe that this person was out to trick them all along, knowing exactly what they were doing. However, while it may seem like they had no idea what would happen as time passed, this is not the whole truth.

Two parts

Consciously, it was clear that they had no idea what would happen; as far as this part of them was concerned, the other person was a good match. The thing is, though, that it wasn’t just their conscious mind that made them feel attracted to this person.

What also made them attracted to this person was what was going on in their unconscious mind. In fact, what was happening at a deeper level would have had a far greater effect.

two agendas

In a way, it would have been as if your conscious mind had a list of things it was looking for and your unconscious mind had another list of things it was looking for. At first, it would have seemed like they had met someone who matched the list they knew, but over time, the person would have matched the list they didn’t know.

What this shows is that what happens at a deeper level is much more in control than what happens on the surface. Consciously, one may have wanted to be happy and be with someone to share their life with, for example, but on a deeper level, they would have wanted to attract someone who would allow them to relive their unresolved childhood wounds.

repetition compulsion

For example, let’s say one had a caregiver who was cold and distant or verbally abusive, they may be attracted to someone who is the same. Years will have passed since this point in their life, but this early trauma will have stayed with them.

Because of this, being around someone like that will be what feels familiar to you, and therefore what feels safe to your unconscious mind. Ultimately, attracting people who will bring these wounds to the surface is a way for you to become aware of what you have disconnected from within and then heal it.

Awareness

But, if one is not aware of what is happening and blames the other person, it will be more difficult for him to grow and develop. They may end up feeling angry and bitter, believing that the world is against them.

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If you can relate to this and want to heal your childhood wounds, you may need to seek outside support. This can be done with the help of a therapist or a healer.