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Still waiting for a proposal?

Are you one of the guys or girls who has been in a relationship for a long time with no proposal in sight? You think you have found the perfect one that completes you and you have put everything you have into them! They have become the center of your universe and you would be lost without them! People keep asking, “Are you still waiting for a proposal?”

I’ve been there and this is my story: I dated my current husband for a year before we moved in together. I met him exactly 30 days after I signed the separation papers to divorce my ex-husband, so I was in no hurry to rush to get married, so living together for a while came in handy. We had been living together for 4 years by the time I turned 29. I started hearing my biological clock tick really loudly in my head and that can only mean one thing… a baby!

The first time my boyfriend, Kenny, who is now my husband, heard me say something about a baby, I knew convincing him wouldn’t be easy. Our friends had just had a baby girl and we would visit them in the maternity ward at the hospital. My friend placed her precious bundle in my arms and when I looked at that sweet little face and smelled her baby powder and lotion, I exclaimed without thinking, “I want one!” Well the look on Kenny’s face as he took a few steps back and looked at me with eyes as big as saucers told me everything I needed to know! This was going to take some work!

As soon as we were in the car leaving the hospital, he kindly told me, “Let’s not put the cart before the horse, especially when we’re not even ready to buy the horse yet!” Thus began the first marriage conversation and it was evident that she had not even thought of proposing to him, much less getting married.

I was sunk. I realized that I had spent 5 years making this man the center of my life and I wasn’t even worried about staying in his. That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to wait forever and started to change the way the game was played. I wasn’t going to be the cute little cheerleader anymore, I was the player with the ball running for a touchdown, even when I got tackled from time to time, I would get up and start running again.

You see that nothing changes unless you change it. When you start to change yourself, it changes the whole relationship because you are interacting differently within the relationship. When a person changes, the relationship has no choice but to change.

The change does not have to be harsh, it should be subtle but striking. This is what I did. I started spending more time with friends and leaving him to cook his own dinner a couple of times a week. I didn’t spend my days off from work, which were sometimes midweek, cleaning the house like I normally did. I went out with friends and had fun.

I even tried my best to talk to the men more than the women in front of him. Never flirt, but be inquisitive. I know he called her out a couple of times because he was like, “Well, do you know the whole story of Nick’s life now?” He would smile at myself and say something like, “He’s a very interesting guy, but not as interesting as you!”

He noticed the change pretty quickly and realized that he was no longer the center of my world. He realized that I didn’t need him to complete my life, I could do it on my own. He caught on pretty quickly and started talking about having a baby and what they would look like. Which was a complete and total change from visiting the hospital a few months earlier.

Then one day he asked me if I still wanted a baby and I said, “Of course, but first I want to get married, so I’d like to know if I’m wasting my time waiting for a proposal from you.” He said, “What do you mean wasting time?” Men! Even when you’re blunt and to the point, if they don’t want to understand, they just won’t!

I remember telling her, “I’m not going to waste my time waiting for a proposal, I’m a good woman and I’m going to be a great wife and mother and that’s what I want, so I guess you just have to decide what you want and from there we’ll figure out the rest.” “. Then I went to see a movie with some friends. I left him like he got hit by a Mack truck!

I just didn’t get it at the time, but I’ve studied men and women in their relationships ever since and I get it now. At least for my husband’s type. He is the type who hates making big decisions. As long as everything is going well, he sees no reason to change it. Well, we got engaged a month after that conversation and got married 6 months later. We have been together for 24 years and got married 19 of them. We have a 17 year old son who is our pride and joy.

Still waiting for a proposal? What kind of man or woman do you have? Do they like that you are chasing them and that you keep waiting no matter how much time passes? The technique I used to get a proposal could be used for this type of person and for any other type. You will see when you start to put yourself in the center of your world, they will see you in a totally different way. Sometimes it has a dramatic effect and puts the ring on your finger quickly.

You may find that you have more fun being alone and with friends than with your partner. You have saved yourself and your partner a lot of headaches and attorney bills. Finding out who you are without your partner is key and it will also show your partner that you are not going to wait forever and it can make you extremely sexy.

Sometimes simply giving your partner an ultimatum outright, like I did, can backfire and they will disappear from your life. So making subtle changes and putting yourself first instead of them is probably best. If they leave, you’ve already become the center of your world, so you won’t be totally devastated. Realize that they weren’t meant for you and it’s better to be disappointed now rather than waste more precious time waiting for a proposal you’ll never receive.

If they try to control you and demand that you make them the only thing you care about and do anything for, then you really need to know this before you marry them anyway.

You want a marriage full of love and mutual respect, not one where you do everything for your partner and get nothing in return except the blessing of your presence. Realize that you are your own person and nobody controls you except yourself and you will make a wise choice in a spouse.

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