With all the celebrities breaking up and getting back together lately, it seems like second chances are in the air. There is no doubt that sometimes couples break up for the wrong reasons, and that the second time can be the charm. There are also times when the end of a relationship is for the best. Learn how to decide when to give a broken commitment a second chance.

Working in a bridal salon, I witnessed more than one broken engagement. Happily, I also saw some reconciliations. The best wedding planning advice in those situations is that if the marriage is meant to be, you will work out your differences and rekindle your romance. If that doesn’t happen, be glad you broke up before you got married. Better a broken engagement than a divorce or a bad marriage.

Couples who renewed their engagements were typically those who broke up because one of them was not ready to commit to marriage. They were often younger people, perhaps engaged fresh out of college. It’s quite easy to get carried away with the excitement of bridal jewelry, wedding dresses, and love and then start to get cold feet as your wedding day approaches. Sometimes it is very helpful to step back and get some perspective on the situation. You might even realize that the relationship is the right one for you, only things needed to progress a bit more slowly. That’s a situation where giving a broken engagement a second chance can be a good idea after some time has passed.

Some couples call off an engagement because they are working through things from their past or current traumas. The man who proposes to her shortly after learning that her girlfriend has a serious illness may find that she is concerned that he proposed out of pity. The same is true when a couple becomes engaged soon after losing a loved one. Those doubts can begin to settle and the person affected by the trauma withdraws. If the proposal was offered in the spirit of true love, not out of sympathy, this is a relationship that has a good chance of being saved. Time begins to soften the wounds and the couple begins to realize that they have always been together.

There are other relationships that should not be renewed. If you broke off your engagement because your fiancé was cheating on you, it’s best to make a clean break and move on. There’s no point in winning someone back you don’t trust, and by doing so, you could be sending the message that they can treat you badly and get away with it. Definitely not a good thing for a relationship! Other engagements are broken off because the man begins to realize that his fiancée is more interested in the trappings of a wedding, like fancy dresses and sparkly bridal jewelry, than being married to him. This again is a sign that the commitment should not be renewed.

Not everything is so clear cut when it comes to relationships. Sometimes a man and a woman are very different people. They can love each other passionately, but also have a lot of conflicts caused by their differences. If you broke up during an argument over something silly, there is a chance that the relationship can be salvaged. The real thing to decide is whether you are happier with the other person, despite your differences, or happier and more relaxed away from them. Distance and time will help you figure this out. Ultimately, only the two of you can decide when it’s right to give your broken engagement a second chance and when it’s better to go your separate ways.