Perfectionism grants you a reserved seat in life’s waiting room. As you cling to the belief that nothing less than perfection is acceptable, your BIG dream fades from sight.

Maybe you’ve been proud of your “high standards,” your “attention to detail,” or your “meticulous” approach, and you’ve probably been praised and rewarded for all of those things.

Perfectionists feel more secure when they can be compared to external definitions of success. But because you look to others to define you as a success or a failure, you can end up resentful when they seem to control you.

As you get busy taking care of everyone else and complying with their demands, your resentment will begin to manifest itself, and it will affect your relationships. Furthermore, perfectionism leads to a constant sense of failure and disappointment, a feeling of unworthiness.

“Shoot the moon. Even if you fail, you will land among the stars. “- The Browns

Perfectionists can’t bear the thought of losing their goal. To combat this fear of failure, you can keep busy by maintaining the high standards you have set – anything to avoid giving up on your BIG dream and its unknown possibilities.

You can say, “I’ll go after my BIG dream after my home is clutter-free, my finances are in order, and the kids are out of the house.”

When in reality: All we have is today. Practice being in the present moment; Try to imagine that you only have one year to live. Would that wake you up to the precious gift of each moment?

You can say, “I will make a decision about my next steps as soon as I am sure it is the right one. Because if I make a mistake, I will surely regret it.”

When in reality: every election is an opportunity to learn and grow. If I am wrong, I will have ample opportunity to correct it. Practice answering the question, “If I didn’t have to be perfect, I would choose ____.” And of course, be kind to yourself. I guarantee that most of your decisions will not be able to end the world.

You can say, “Everyone is watching, so this has to be perfect.”

When it comes true: Other people are far more interested in their own trials and tribulations than yours. Even if they are watching, at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with the decisions you make. Do what will make you happy.

You can say, “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t try at all.”

When in reality: just by trying, you’ve already done it. Think of the millions of people around the world who will never have a chance to achieve their BIG dream. Think of those who may have the opportunity, but will never seize it.

Practice confidence and surrender to your destiny. There are forces at work that are greater than you and what is destined to happen will happen.

What’s more, the universe is constantly trying to send you abundance. When you stay at the high level of perfection, you will block the abundance because you don’t feel worthy of receiving it.

It takes time to change these lifelong beliefs. Imagine that you are standing by a pool. You want to enter but may feel anxious. Note that you do not have to jump with both feet. You can slowly wade into the pool, feel the water on your feet, and go further when you’re ready. The key is that you have taken the first step towards your BIG dream.

The water may not be the perfect temperature, it may not be sunny outside, you may not have remembered your sunscreen, and you are concerned about how you will look in a bathing suit. But one thing is for sure. You are in the water. You’ve taken the bold first step and are on your way to your BIG dream.

Be kind to yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come.

© 2007 Dra. Cara Alana