Parenting during Covid, the method to find a new path
This article continues the article titled Parenting During Covid with more details on how to steer children away from video games and lead them to a more productive and happy life.
This article will also help many adults.
In the section THE CHILD’S POINT OF VIEWI explained how the child will feel and what their thoughts are, even if they don’t realize it because it comes from the core nature of the human being rather than the personality, and how they will deal with the current situation.
I’ll assume you’ve followed the instructions in the section; THE METHOD TO FIND YOUR CHARACTER AND THAT OF YOUR CHILDand have found the things that you or your child liked to do.
Having found out if the child liked to draw, or build things, or read books and learn new things, explore and be active playing physical games or things with the mind, enjoyed music and danced, or did not like music but preferred to play in the garden, he will have narrowed down the kinds of things he liked.
It is quite easy to tell if they loved and had a talent for music or drawing, and I mean real talent, not just the opinion of parents, which is usually deaf.
If they liked to build things, then an interest in architecture or building things as an engineer or any other trade would be appropriate. I know a Hungarian Jew who came to Canada from the concentration camp, he couldn’t speak a word of English or French and he was penniless when he arrived. He got a job as a construction worker, helping a house painter. I’ll narrow down to the time he died, worth over $50 million dollars as a major real estate developer. I tell you this true story to make it clear that you should not reject anything because you think there is no money or future in it. Anything can be expanded.
One of my students was a corporate professional and he hated his life. He quit and moved out of his house. Lost and confused, she came to my school and had no idea what to do with his life. Using this method, we discovered that he loved playing the drums. But how are you going to make a living playing drums?
Digging a little deeper, we discovered that she liked being an entertainer, so after a little time playing around with different ideas, she eventually became a clown percussion teacher for children and the elderly.
She now and for the last 20 years has had a very successful career, educating, acting, acting in many TV shows and movies, and has had a positive influence on perhaps thousands of lives by building bridges between cultures and families, and earning well. life. also, all because as a child she loved to play the drums.
The fear of what her parents would say kept her stuck for a couple of years before she really started to take the path that was right for her; “Do you want to leave a successful, high-paying corporate career to do WHAT?”
I implore all parents not to let their child waste precious years of their life. And I implore you, don’t waste the rest of the life you have left.
As you can see, even the simplest childhood game can be the key to a very successful life. The problem with children now is that they are not encouraged to find and do what is their true love, and they feel totally alone.
Repeat the exercise, do it harder, deeper, with a more open mind to whatever you like, and remember that a child does not know that there are Arab drums, African drums, Turkish drums or any drum. They will hit the pots and pans. Instead of yelling at your child for damaging their pots and pans and making noise, open your mind to see what they’re trying to do, not what you see.
You see a pot, the child sees something with which he can make noise. They have no fixed opinions about what a thing is. If you take a big enough pot and put it upside down on the floor, it’s a chair or stool so you can reach the counter and grab the cookies.
This is the quality of creativity and invention, and problem solving. See what something can be used for, rather than just what you’re told it should be used for.
THE PROBLEM WITH ADULTS
You have lost your creativity instead of a fixed opinion about everything. If you have to write something quickly and you don’t have a pen, but you have a women’s eyeliner pencil handy, use it. It’s not an eyeliner, it’s something you can write or draw with.
Begin to see things as things and not under the definition of how you call it and use it alone. See everything as if you’ve never seen it before and have no idea what it is, and then think about what you can do with it.
That is the power of a child’s mind that adults have lost, and when you lost it, you lost your spark of creativity and the vast potential of life. When that died, life began to go down a narrow and dark road. This is how the toddler, pre-teen or young teen feels when they are told; “NO NO NO, that’s not what you do with that thing.”
So having accepted that creativity is a bad thing because when you tried it you got shot down, the creative and exploring mind is ignored, but not dead, at least not yet. Then the hunger of that mind tells the conscience; “Find a way to be creative and free so you can live again!”
And again, we see why kids love video games and ignore or disrespect their parents.
RESURRECT YOUR CREATIVITY
This exercise can be done to whatever degree you have the ability to do, which means with 5, 10 or 100 items, just do what you can.
Ever since I was a pre-teen, I had no parents to support my creativity in any way, so I read the yellow pages. For those of you who don’t know what that is, long before the internet, there was a big book that listed all the businesses in a city, organized by type of business. That book was a ‘Google’ of everything that could be done. I read the index of that book, because it listed everything, so I could get ideas of what I liked.
The exercise I propose is practical. Put as many different things as you can in a room. What you choose depends on the age of your child, but don’t rule anything out based on gender. Some of the great cooks are men, so don’t think cooking is just a girl thing, and there are some great female pilots, so don’t dismiss the mechanical stuff as ‘boy stuff’.
Paints and things to draw on, Legos, things to build things with, musical instruments, dolls, kitchen things to play house with, broken appliances like a toaster or a small mechanical device to see if they can be fixed or taken apart to see how they work, binoculars to observe nature, telescope to see the stars, the list is endless, really endless. The more stuff you have in that room, the better.
Let the child go wild, without any guidance or feedback from you, so he can do what he wants. In fact, if the father is not there to show his approval or disapproval, all the better. But someone has to be there to encourage and play with the child, and if there are a few children to gather, that’s also much more effective.
Let them play and do what they want, then talk to them to find out what they enjoyed and why, to see what you can cut back on. If, for example, the child likes musical instruments, or takes anything in the room to make noise, which is a children’s symphony, then take the exercise to the next stage.
Repeat it but this time with a variety of elements more focused in that direction. Drums, guitar, piano, etc.
Eventually, something will show, and now it’s up to the parents to determine their child’s future. Remember the previous article about the 10-year-old boy who loved to draw and cook? Let me tell you how that turned out.
His mother said she will drop some of the intellectual teaching and put him in an art class after school. That made him so ecstatic, the mother said that she had never seen him so happy. A couple of days later, the boy told his mother that he didn’t want to go to art class and that he would keep the math tuition.
What happened? Why would the boy choose something he hated instead of what he loved? The boy’s father had abandoned the family when the boy was so young that he never knew his father. Her mother is all she had of hers and he loved her so much that she would do anything to please her. Unfortunately, he felt that her mother wanted him to be better at math, so he gave up her happiness to make her happy.
Let this be a warning to you about how you respond, interact, and encourage your child. Let it also trigger memories of when you were a child.
Find your child’s natural character.
Find your natural character.
Encourage your child to find what he likes to do with a sincere heart and a love that cares about him, not you.
Just remember when you got pregnant or wanted a child, YOU brought it into this world. Did you want to father a slave and a servant to take care of you when you were old? Or do you have the responsibility to raise that helpless little creature to have a happy life in this very difficult world?
Be their friend by experiencing the life they are living from their point of view. Give up all the things you ‘know’ and start seeing what you’re missing by being creative and seeing the world and everything in it as if you’re an alien that just arrived on this strange planet that looks very horrible and it’s getting a lot worse. without the ability to earn the money you need to live, to not be able to travel, to not be able to see your friends, to not be able to visit your family, to face a future of being totally alone.
Socialize more, as much as possible. Don’t let the government destroy your child’s emotional development any more than he already has. Don’t let the damage continue and get worse.
Organize to be with your friends, have your kids play games with each other, set up a computer game room if that’s what it takes, so they can play sitting close to each other.
Find ways to get children to play with each other, talk, laugh, invent and create imaginary worlds they would like to live in. Take every imaginary invention you can think of and discover how it can be the next best thing, a new product, service or invention.
If you can’t figure it out yourself, form a club of parents and professionals in as many fields as you can; architect, engineer, mathematician, artist, musician, film producer, sports addict, businessman, and see what each of them can think of. Someone will ‘click’ on this ‘dumb, childish idea’ and see how it can be turned into a new business or product.
I have owned businesses in over 20 different industries and have consulted over 100 because I can turn any idea into action. That’s what you have to do for your son. Give them hope that there is a future and someone who knows how and what to do to make them valuable.
Regardless of age, what we all want is a partner, whether it’s an adult relationship or a childhood friendship, someone we can be in the same room with and not have to talk to, but have someone there, just because it’s comforting to have someone. there. That comfort is emotional nourishment that we need at every age of our lives.
When someone says they like being alone, it’s just to deal with the pain of feeling like they don’t have a choice. Offer them an option that fits what they want, not what you think is best, because often that’s just what you want.