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How to develop the habit of happiness

Have you ever wondered why some people are naturally so much happier than others? Some people are negative and pessimistic no matter what (and spend most of the day frowning), while others seem to be happy most of the time and smile every time you see them. Has life been kinder to the happy bunch? If you talk to some of them, you’ll usually find that they’ve had just as many problems and setbacks as most people.

The difference is that they have learned to manage them better and their optimistic attitude is mainly due to the fact that they have acquired the “habit of happiness”.

What do we mean by the “happiness habit”? To understand it, let’s begin by briefly considering what each of the words means, beginning with “happiness.” What exactly is happiness? A simple dictionary definition is “happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant most of the time.” It is important to add to this that it is something you experience now, and not in the future. If you expect it to happen in the future, you are obviously not experiencing it now. Happiness cannot depend on anything; it has to happen now. In addition, you cannot depend on other people, nor on external events of any kind.

It is something that develops in the mind, so it is created by your thinking and attitudes. This means that it is going to require a bit of effort on your part. You’re not going to suddenly become happy by saying to yourself, “I’m going to be happy.” This is like saying “I’m going to play the flute (assuming you don’t know anything about the flute)”. To play the flute you have to learn how the notes are formed, then you have to practice it. Oddly enough, this also applies to happiness. You are going to have to spend a considerable amount of time learning to be happy, and this is achieved by practicing it until it becomes second nature.

This brings us to the second of the words in our sentence, namely “habit”. According to the dictionary it is “a pattern of behavior that is acquired by frequent repetition, or an acquired mode of behavior that has become almost or completely involuntary.”

So, to develop a habit, we see that it takes practice. To perfect anything, you need to start by making a conscious decision to do it as precisely and correctly as possible. Then you do it over and over again, and soon you find that you don’t have to think about it anymore. It has become automatic, a habit.

What do we have to practice over and over again to develop the “happiness habit”? The following are some of the main things.

  1. Start first thing in the morning. Resolve to smile and be as cheerful as possible throughout the day. Make sure you carry it out.
  2. When a pessimistic or negative thought of any kind enters your mind, quickly replace it with a positive thought.
  3. Expect the best in everything and act as if it has already happened.
  4. Several times a day tell yourself how lucky you are to have as many things as you do. Spend several minutes thinking about each of them.
  5. Greet your friends with a big smile and a handshake and, if possible, congratulate them on something.

Memorize the above list and practice each of the things on it day after day until it becomes a habit and you will soon notice that you feel much better and happier.

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